So my daughter has this friend who is so bright and shiny and never seems to have a bad day. They are going into 8th grade so they are in “THAT” time of their lives-pre-teen girls. This girl, however, is different. She once told me that she wakes up every day and tells herself that she is going to have a great day-and then she does. She chooses to smile. That’s pretty deep for a girl so young-to understand that she has a choice in how she lives, how she will affect herself and others. That does not mean she doesn’t have struggles, but it is how she chooses to deal with them that makes the difference. I’m 43 years old and still struggle with that.
In all my personal work, I still have not been able to grasp the idea that only I am responsible for myself and my attitude. That I get to choose how people affect me and how I deal with situations and problems. That being a certain way is a choice….
This world is so full of bitterness and blame and it makes me sad. I am not immune from that sterotype either. I have been known to have a sharp tongue but to be honest, I hate it. Inside I scream at myself because I HATE to hurt people-I would rather hurt myself than others. But that’s all wrong too…what I need to do is be true to myself and honest with myself and then perhaps I wouldn’t have to sling uglies at others. I need to be happy for the lesson instead of upset that I had to learn it.
Frustrations about everything lie at every corner-no time, it’s hot, we need rain, the kids are driving me mad, my husband doesn’t understand, I don’t understand, I feel like a lazy loser, the house is a mess, I can’t catch up, we don’t have any money, my coworkers suck, my boss expects too much…blah blah blah complain complain complain. But here is something that I would like to share about myself…that in all of those frustrations, I have this ideal that no matter what, we will be ok-whether it’s money or time or anything, I just believe that all will be fine-things will fall into the place they need to be and all is well. Some people I know do not hold this same vision about life and therefore get upset at me for what they perceive as my lack of drive or maybe care is a better word, in certain situations. I do care-I REALLY care, but I believe…I believe that God has a plan for me-for all of us. I believe that if something doesn’t fall into the place I think I want it, then it wasn’t meant to go there or be that way and so therefore something else needs to happen. I stress about so much “stuff’ in my life that to add the “what if’s” of the future would drive me to the looney house. I am content in just having faith.
So, here is my point (to you and of course to myself)…Don’t stress-no really…don’t stress, believe that all will be well no matter what (it might not be fun or might be difficult but it will be ok), wake up each morning and tell yourself you are going to have a great day and have one (or at least start with having an hour or two)! This really is a choice you can make for yourself.
Be happy-really be happy-aren’t we so lucky to wake up and be alive? We spend so much time being unhappy or finding the bad/negative in everything that we forget that the alternative is not being here at all. Look at the small things in life and find SOMETHING that makes you happy and smile. Watch your stress melt away from that one small “thing” you chose to find beautiful.
I watched my son the other day at one of his sports practices. He isn’t particularly athletic-yet- but he smiled the entire time. He wasn’t great at what they were doing, he wasn’t the fastest, he wasn’t the strongest-he even fell flat on his face at one point, but he smiled because he gave what he could and he CHOSE to enjoy himself even though he wasn’t what everyone perceives as “perfect” at it. He felt perfect and that is all that really matters. Bless him for showing me that. It is a picture that I will never ever forget. I will forever use this as an example to myself and others.
I also like to use the pro-golfer Matt Kuchar as a great example of how a smile can change both yours and others’ lives. After his Freshman year in college, he qualified for the greatest golfing championship in my opinion-The Masters. He should have been intimidated, he should have been scared and he should have been more serious-right? But what he was was happy and grateful. Kuchar swept the golf world off its feet with his smile and game, right under the shadow of Tiger and other incredibly successful professionals in the first round. As Woods and the others sputtered and fumed when their putts careened past the hole and clubs were slammed at bags when shots went awry (yes this did happen), Kuchar beamed-not because the other players were struggling but because he was having the time of his life, playing well and enjoying the moment and he wanted everyone to know it. To Kuchar a round of golf is a celebration in and of itself. To Woods and others on that course the game is a strategic tragedy fraught with peril at every turn of a dogleg – kick butt, take names and add them up at the end. In Woods’ mind, the only thing worth celebrating is total victory and nothing less. To Kuchar just playing the game and being out there was enough. I don’t particularly remember much about that Masters except that Mark O’Meara did win the Championship but it was Kuchar who ran away with our hearts and will be forever burned into my memory of what was important that weekend.
So I also add SMILE-it might tick off a few people or make them question your motives, but do it anyway and be honest about it not mean. People may even yell at you to “wipe off that shit eating grin from your face” (that happened to me just last week)-smile anyway-because it isn’t about them…it’s about you and your affect on yourself and the world around you and how you choose to deal with issues and problems. It’s about being grateful for the moment or for the lesson you just got to learn. Even if you make a mistake or say or do something you regret, smile-not because “you showed them” but because you are happy and you are healthy and you realize that maybe you shouldn’t have said or done that and that realization alone is a big postive step in becoming a better person. That in itself is the lesson learned and something to be proud of and happy for.
I am a HUGE work in progress (I say it all the time), probably we all are. But we can change our own worlds one step at a time.
In Good Health…
some information for this article taken from Florida Golf Monthly,Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998 Impact Interactive, Inc.
Nothing is impossible when you believe…
I ran across this video and it filled me with inspiration..
As I approach my newfound “full time” job with gusto, I am really seeing how human nature works (and how bad people truly do need a life and health coach and to work on themselves from the inside). Because of the wonderful support granted by IIN and my colleagues and friends on the OEF (that’s the site we have at school for support and to ask questions etc), I have learned two things: 1) there is no rejection just selection and 2) you WILL get push back. Well, in the last week I have seen both and for me it’s very telling about the nature of things today in America.
I am finding that people seem to take pleasure in watching others fail. It is a sad state of affairs. I mean, look, health coaching is not for everyone, I am not naive enough to think that each and every person I approach will understand what I do much less want to work with me, and that is ok. We are all in different places in our lives and much like a drug addict or alcoholic who won’t seek help, you can not MAKE someone want to be healthy-they have to do it on their own be ready for the change and the hard work. They need to be at their whits end and say I’ve had enough of this lfe (now before anyone gets all worked up-I am NOT in any way linking all unhealthy people to alcholism and drug addiction-it was simply an example).
The other day I was chatting with a few friends while my son was at JuJitsu-their sons also take the class. I have met some of the most beautiful people in my short time here in North Texas and am really very lucky to be able to visit with them each week in different locales. These people are so real and raw and I am loving just learning about them and being their friends.
There is a new mom who brought her two gorgeous boys into the class. I introduced myself to her on the first day she was there but as I am TERRIBLE with names, I reintroduced myself and gave her my card this week. She looked at my card and said, huh a health coach…then she began to pepepr me with questions as if it were an interrogation.
Here I am saying to myself…ok, here it comes, you worked hard all year for this…elevator speech, I am ready…I am confident in what I do so I can answer any questions with honesty and the knowledge that I do have. What I wasn’t ready for was the confrontational way she asked me questions…kind of like I know this stuff but do you-obviously you don’t?
You see, she explained that her house is gluten free, dairy free among other “free” things. She is lucky that she had the wherewithall to realize that something was amiss and do the research for her family to make them better. If only more people would be so bold! But because she has had to do extensive research on the gluten side of things, she has a ton of knowledge-and that is great (I wish more people were like her in that manner)! The problem with knowledge is sometimes people do not know how to handle it properly and can get very confrontational if they feel like someone has inferior information. The issue I had was I felt very attacked by her…like she was trying to make sure I knew that I knew less about the subject and she knew more therefore rendering me invalid at my choice of careers. And you know what…I DO know less about it-and I am not afraid to admit that. Each and every time she asked me a question about my “knowledge” and I began to answer-she interrupted my answer to tell me in so many words/ways that I was incorrect and she knows more. In a sense tell me I know nothing and she knows everything. Ok…that’s ok…
I listened to her because I think that is what she needed-to feel superior at that point in time. Then I turned the conversation around to what she does for a living and supported her as much as I could in her explanation of her job (and it is a really cool job that she does). I too, have extensive business acumen…I have run a multi-million dollar company with my dad but I do not choose to challenge people on whether I can do it better, but I choose to be supportive and be the “atta girl” kind of person. Use my knowledge constructively and learn each and every day from others.
What I learned from this situation is how to handle superiority complexes…I think, actually, that people who need to be that way have so many other “things” going on in their lives that they are unhappy with. I believe that NO ONE is superior to others…you can not make your own heartbeat.
So what I did is learn a lesson from this sitaution and I sat down and I prayed for her. I prayed for peace in her life from whatever it is that she is struggling with (or doesn’t know that she is struggling with). And, I look forward to seeing her again upon our return to the next JuJitsu class. I think she is beautiful and I learned so much from her about a subject that I am not yet a master!
Kindness and understanding…
The second time this week that I have run into people who seem to selfishly want others to fail is at my gym. We belong to a new gym…it is beautiful with sparkling new equipment, but does not have a huge membership yet. I work out there almost every day of the week-trying to keep healthy the best way I know how. Normally when I am working out, the personal trainers are in there either with their clients or working themselves out. They are a thing of beauty-you should see them-no fat and beautiful lean muscles. Strong and lovely people. Valid to be helping those who are in need of support in their health journeys.
I approached the manager last week to introduce myself and let him know who I am and what I do. You see, I had not seen or heard (and I listen) any of the trainers talking nutrition with their clients. Of course, I am not privy to their private conversations but in general, most personal trainers are not trained in bioindividuality of nutrition-they either give their one type diet plan or put them on weight loss products. So I thought maybe I could partner with the gym and their trainers to give these people something that they are not yet exposed to. The manager seemed very on board. My product does not compete at all with what their mission is, it only compliments it. Aren’t we all out to do one thing-help people?
WRONG…apparently we are not all out for that in this health journey…apparently some of us are out for the almighty dollar and that is all. You see, for some reason at least one of the trainers must feel like I am trying to impede upon his ability to get clients. I do not know why because if he actually stopped and thought about it, he would see that I have offered to drive my clients to the gym (membership and more $$ for the owners) and to him and his colleagues (more $$) and if they felt their clients might be able to use my service from time to time for those that may not be able to fully help (mind body and soul) then please send them my way.
Here again, he seems so wrapped up in superiority to forget that he does not know everything…he is not an expert in everything health (none of us are). My own personal trainer said it like this…the best heart surgeons in the world do not know much about the rest of the body because they do not have to-they are heart surgeons and we expect that they know that part of the human body like the back of their hands-they don’t try to be specialists in other part of the body-they refer.
Unless he has a certification from IIN, he knows nothing really about what I can do to supplement his work with his clients. So, instead of admitting that to himself and choosing to think about what is best for his clients…he has chosen to snuff me out…to make sure that I do not have access to ANY of the clientelle at the gym through the trainers. How completely selfish can one person be? Now, the other trainers, whom I have had discussions about working a referral system with and who are on board because they want the best for their clients (and could get more from my referrals as well) will not get the refernce from me after all. Because one person’s inferiority complex has shown through, he has ruined it for others too.
There is no rejection just selection…there is no rejection just selection…there is no rejection just selection…sigh I have to keep telling myself this.
My job is to help people get healthy and work through their issues in their lives, the way I do each and every day for myself. What I have learned from these two people as well as numerous others is that we are all a work in progress. Some are farther along than others and some may never come to terms with the fact that, for the most part, we are all out to accomplish the same goal…we need to be more gentle with one another. Utilize each other’s strengths to come to that common goal. I am not out to take you down, take money out of your pocket, make you think I know it all and you know nothing. I am not out to make you feel less than you are or take anything from you at all. I want to be there to partner with others who carry the same vision and mission I do…I want to learn as much as I can for as long as I can so that I can pass along health, happiness, love and understanding. I try to learn from the knowledge of others and utilize that each and every day in my own journey.
So, let’s all be gentle with one another…let’s NOT look at things from the negative or be on the attack. It seems so angry and mean to take pleasure in the failure of others and to be frank it takes so much more energy. Let’s work together for a common good-for a common outcome. Put the arrogance aside and remember what we do this for (and while the almighty dollar is grand it sure as hell shouldn’t be the raison d’etre).
Be gentle-and as they said in England during the war..”keep calm and carry on”.
In good health…
So, I DID IT!!! I resigned from my job at the school system and have taken a part time job with a firm that does land deals-more up my alley AND this allows me much more flexibility to continue building my health coaching business! I feel really good about not having to do a job that my soul was not in but now I am a bit nervous about the future (even though my soul is in this one). They say that you should face your fears head on, acknowledge them and do it anyway. Well, I’m jumping in with two feet and my eyes closed. I am so very excited about this new phase of my life but fearful I am.
I think the biggest issue is that this will be a test for me. This will show myself if I can practice what I preach…can I talk the talk..get out there and market myself enough for people to see how valid I truly am? I KNOW with everything that I am and have that I am good at this, that I know what I am doing and that I am ready for the big time, but will some ugly part of me show up that deep down I knew about myself but didn’t want to admit? Some things that I have not yet confronted in my personal work?
For instance…am I lazy? Have I been so lucky in life that everything pretty much went the way I wanted it to so that now I have no skills to work hard to be a success? Does it really matter how bad I want this? Will I sabatoge myself? Will someone else sabatoge me along the way enough that I can’t recover? FEAR FEAR FEAR FEAR rearing its ugly head from everywhere…
They say that your life will end up where your thoughts go…so I have to figure out how to step outside of the fear and show people that I can help them make a change in their lives-that I am the “real deal” that I truly CARE about their outcomes in this world.
So for today, I will hold my head high, smile inside and out and feel proud that I have taken the first step towards a really killer life…this is the best way I know how to face the fear in the beginning.
Step 1-take care of yourself first before you can attempt to take care of others ——quit unhealthy job…CHECK!!!
I have a sign on my wall that says, ” What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”-it’s a valid question and a great way to face my fear head-on.
In good health…
Blogging is difficult for me. There is so much going on inside my head that I seem to not be able to decide on one thing to talk about. So, today I will simply be excited about some decisions, directions and goals. As you know, I am a Certified Health Coach. I work with people to realize their life and health goals in my step by step program that is client driven! I listen and I help keep my clients on track when it is so easy to “fall off the wagon”. I love this opportunity! I love working with people and seeing them find that life isn’t all stress and misery but about vitality and living life to the fullest…
What you may not know is that I am also an equestrian. I competed in the Pan American games a few years back and have competed all over. THIS is where my heart lies…they say take care of yourself first then you can help others. THIS is where I am the most whole-riding. And, not to brag, but I am good. Dressage is my forte and I know without a doubt that I can win-I have won.
So, here is my GOAL-this is what I am putting out the Universe and praying to God..
I will compete in the Olympics in dressage. Luckily age is not a determinate on being able to compete! I have been retired for quite a number of years so that I could have kids and raise a family but I am really ready to get back into it now.
I am good enough to win/medal and I can make it happen. Many things have to fall into place for this to become a reality. For instance-I need a major company/group/individual to invest in me to help fund/sponsor my training. It can happen, I just have to go out and market myself.
Second, I need a world class horse. I sold my own world class horse just after the Pan Am Games and will need to work on getting another-a winner. For this I will contact my old trainer and dear friend Scott Hassler of Hassler Dressage (world class person, trainer and rider). He is the one who got me where I was before and I know he can help get me there again.
How can I do this? You see, I have a niche that many others do not have. I can ride for my home ‘country” of the US Virgin Islands. I have a bit of an easier route to get on an Olympic team and I am going to prove that I am worthy. This does not mean that I will not fight to be among the best in the world anyway, just that my competition for getting on the team is a bit of an easier route as I will be one of the only ones looking for a spot-but that does not mean the the USVI just gives a spot away…au contraire-they expect winning and world class scores.
The great thing about that is that is I can be an asset for an owner because of this. You allow me to campaign one of your world class breeding stallions, I take him to the Olympics and win on him and your breeding fee just skyrocketed-the worth of the horse just skyrocketed (I mean just to have an Olympic horse whether you win or not is a huge asset)-can you imagine the marketing they would be able to have???
So, this is my GOAL. I will work hard to try to see it fulfilled-this is where my soul lies. This is where I am at my best! Let the games begin!
In good health…
This video is a great example of what my last post was talking about…humanity is beautiful when it is treated like this…What an amazing human soul…if we look at people not from the eyes of aspersion but from the eyes of love, this is what can be accomplished…can you IMAGINE if we treated our families this way? God bless you sir…
Blessings to all…
In good health…
Today while I was washing my face I turned to find a tiny bag of bath salts and a bar of facial soap from the Omni Hotel in Chicago. My husband returned late last night after being gone for a week on a business trip there. What struck me the most wasn’t the items in themselves, though I admit I LOVE those kinds of self-indulging things, but that my husband thought that I might like them and made an effort to place them into his bag to bring them home as a gift to me. He had grueling days and nights this past week but still managed to take a look at things that we all take for granted (soap in a hotel) and thought about someone else-about how I might love those things.
In this angry, ugly and tough and selfish world, maybe we could all learn something from this gesture. To be gentle and kind and think of others in times of stress and feeling out of contol, somehow brings us back into control of our lives. To remember the people we love and things that make them happy can be so good for our health-so good for our hearts. Why not do something to make someone else feel special-to climb out of our selfish lives and into one of selflessness.
You say you don’t have the time? I say how much time does it take to smile and ask how someone’s day is going or to toss a quarter into a homeless person’s hat…You say you don’t have the money….I say how expensive is it to pick a flower from the roadside to take to someone to make their day (incidently taking a walk in nature-however short is so good for your soul)? You say you wouldn’t know what to give or do? I say it doesn’t matter so long as it is from the heart-write a poem, simply draw a happy face on a piece of paper and say I love you or I am thinking about you.
We take for granted the people in our lives and that complacency is awful. I think the little gestures and things in life can change a person and can change ourselves. Maybe, just maybe, if we all stopped -slowed down our lives for just one moment and took stock of where we are and what we are doing, then many of us would realize that we are going through life without a TRUE purpose and perhaps would make the changes to be healthier and happier. This would create a domino effect-can you IMAGINE what we could accomplish then?
Oh, and if you are the recipient of any wonderful gesture…don’t forget to acknowledge the person, smile and say thank you-and mean it…
Just some random thoughts…
In Good Health…
A holistic lifestyle is more than just eating organic foods and practicing yoga from time to time. It means paying attention to all aspects of your life: relationships, career, health and spirituality to be sure that you are living a life in balance. This might mean making some adjustments. The important thing to realize is they are not quick fixes.
Take a minute now to think about all areas of your life:
Relationships: Are you surrounded by people who stimulate you? Do your friends and romantic partner make you laugh and are they kind to you? Are there people you can be spending more time with or less time with? Make an effort to spend more time with those who fill your life with joy.
Career: Are you satisfied with your day-to-day job? Do you feel challenged by your boss and your coworkers? Do you feel that you are compensated well for your hard work? Are you happy more than you are stressed-out? Make a list of the things you love about your job and the things that you do not.
Spirituality: Do you have a spiritual practice? This can be anything from meditating to going to church on a regular basis.
Health: Pay attention to the foods you eat. Do you enjoy whole grains, fruits and vegetables every day? How often do you consume junk food? When you crave sweets write down what you are doing. Sometimes when we crave junk food it means that something else in our lives is out of balance.
Everyone could nourish their relationships, career, spirituality and health a little more. By nourishing all aspects of your life you will live a healthier and happier life. What are you going to do today?
By: Joshua Rosenthal
So I am caught somewhere between wanting this summer to fly by and wanting it to s-l-o-w down. You see college football for us starts in 32 days-COLLEGE FOOTBALL-for me there is nothing like it-come on-bring it on-hurry up-I mean we are even going to my team’s first game being played at Cowboy Stadium-Alabama vs Michigan-ROLL TIDE-go BAMA-Rammer Jammer-you get it-yep I’m a BAMA fan through and through-win or lose Alabama all the way. So I’m waiting-jumping up and down so to speak-for all of the trash talking hard hitting fall days to come around.
But isn’t that what most of the problem is, no, not college football-there will never be a time for me that that is a problem, but wanting to” hurry up” everything. I blinked and my childhood and college days were over. Now I’m a proud mom of two- who are growing up so fast I don’t know where that time went. Hurry up-grow up would ya…
We want to rush everything anymore-the way we drive (get outta my way lady), the way we eat (I’ll have fries with that and I am in a hurry so could we get a move on), the way we love (I can’t wait until he asks me to marry him), the way we live (ahhh I’m late again-hurry up kids), the way we are married (let’s have kids right away).
I have found myself trying so hard to push my heels in the ground just to slow down. I often find myself screaming at the drivers in my neighborhood to SLOW DOWN as they speed along in front of my house. Maybe it is time that I took my own advice (not literally as I already learned that lesson but that’s another story entirely).
I remember my childhood days so fondly-I had the best childhood-my parents are stellar people-I was NEVER unhappy. I grew up between St. Croix in the US Virgin Islands and Orcas Island, WA (small island off the coast of Washington State)-an island girl – very little television and tons of outside adventures. I don’t remember wanting to rush through life then-I remember trying to push the days to last a little longer- that last little drop of light so that I didn’t have to come inside for dinner and bedtime. I even remember the smells. Then one day-I had to leave for college-don’t get me wrong I was psyched about it but what I took with me are those fond memories of days long gone-my childhood.
College was a blast-I couldn’t wait for the next day to come-bring it on…I love school-I am one of those-if I could be a professional student and make money at it, I would so be the CEO of that organization! I never can seem to get enough knowledge -whatever it may be-but I digress-college went WAY too fast. I have friends asking if I remember the time about this or that and sometimes I am ashamed to realize that I do not. I had so much fun rushing through that part of my life that I forgot to really live it.
Did you know I competed in the Pan American games in Cuba in 1991? What an honor-what a time-oh but I rushed through that part of my life too. I had to look up the year of the games (I thought it was ’92) because I couldn’t remember-aint that pathetic. All I remember is that I had the time of my life! It all happened so fast – in the blink of an eye and it was over.
And from then on, that is how I have lived-not one day at a time but as fast as I could.
I have been so lucky all my life to have a great life, to live in many different places and meet many different people-some whom I will keep in my heart forever and whom I am grateful that God put in my path-some who came into my life, I guess, to teach me some lesson that I may or may not have learned-I wouldn’t know-my life is going too fast for me to bother to care-
But I do care-I now look back and think-where did it all go? What lessons did I miss? Whose hearts and souls did I trample along the way as I pushed the envelope of time? I don’t regret a day of my life-I think it has molded me to be the person I am-that doesn’t mean I don’t regret some things that I have said or done-au contraire-I wish a lot of the time that I could go back and change the way I looked at a situation or person-but I can’t-
So, as I attempt to slow my life down and enjoy each day-I am feeling so much more free. My stress levels are down, I FEEL happy, it’s affecting my children and husband-they feel it too-what a difference. I am taking the time to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF now-like I did when I was a child. I ate when I was hungry (not because I was bored or stressed out), I ran with my face in the sun and “drank up” all that natural Vitamin D so important to our health, I laughed, I smiled (go figure a simple gesture for yourself can do so much), I played with my dogs, I enjoyed being outside, I swam, I read-you get the picture…so as trivial as these things may seem to the ever busy adult (I don’t have time for such things I have more important things to do), I have figured it out…being this way,-s-l-o-w-i-n-g down doing the things that I WANT to do and not that I think I HAVE to do, has allowed me the time and the avenue to be the person I want to be-and now there are so many more options for my life…I’m starting to enjoy it.
The Fall and college football will come soon enough-doesn’t matter how much I try to slow down, it will be here before I know it (and I am STOKED) but for now, I just want to live for this summer, live for today…
Oh crud, I gotta run, I’m late…..
Ok I admit-it’s a work in progress.
IN GOOD HEALTH
AND ROLL TIDE!
TIP OF THE DAY: If you must, schedule some time for you (some time to give up the stresses and do something you love-or nothing at all)-think of the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts takes the phone out of Richard Gere’s hand and hangs up on an important business call. He finally succumbed to the pressure of letting go. What is the worst that could happen to you? I’m just sayin’ – NOTHING. Try it for ten minutes, how about thirty or an hour…or here is a kicker-take a half day (or full day) off. Don’t work, don’t cut the lawn or clean the house-don’t take any business calls-actually take it off-as if you were on a real vacation. Do something you would NEVER think of doing…go to a baseball game (there are plenty), go to a waterpark, go to the movies-DO NOT RUMINATE about what you should be doing…let go -really. When you return to “reality” I think you will see the difference… that perhaps “reality” isn’t what you are living but what you just lived.
STAY HAPPY AND SMILE!